splorp! the Evil Bastard’s Web Site O’ Doom - Harley Quinn

In July 2005, about a month after we moved into our new apartment (and I was almost, but not quite, healed up from my appendectomy), we went shopping for a pet. Because we live in an apartment, we ruled out cats (reeking litter boxes make me sick) and dogs (I strongly believe it is unfair to own a dog if you live in an apartment - they need a yard in which they can run free). On top of that, Mrs. splorp! has some allergies to fur-based animals. We both decided a bird would be a good idea. We originally had decided on a parrotlet , but when we saw this broken-beaked Green-cheeked conure , we couldn’t resist.


"Her" mother accidently clipped the end of "her" beak and one of "her" toes when "she" was a baby.


It actually took us almost two weeks to come up with a name. Lots of vetoes going on. We finally named "her" Harley Quinn , after The Joker’s associate. The name fit well, as "she" turned out to be quite the little thief.


"She" stole my orange juice...


My coffee...


And even our mashed potatoes. After several months, we noticed that Harley was favoring one foot over the other. As this was the first symptom I saw with Drusilla, I thought it would be wise to take "her" to the vet to make sure it wasn’t serious. While at the doctor’s office, Mrs. splorp! had Harley "sexed". No, it’s not perverted. It was from this test that we learned that Harley was, in fact, a he (thus the end of the quoted pronouns). This sucked, as we had taught him to say "Good morning," "Hello," and, of course, "Good girl". It took a bit of time to change that over to "Good boy", but we managed.


While Harley likes to stand on my shoulder or Mrs. splorp!’s shoulder...


he does occasionally wander around on the floor...


We’ve trained Harley to do a few tricks, like bat-bird...


And after some initial nudging..


... we got him to do "wings up" by flashing a peace sign and saying "wings".


Harley has a lot of toys; his favorite is anything with a bell.


And if he’s bad, we can always sick the lion on him.



Sometimes he’s bad (bites or screams), so into prison he goes.


Proof that Harley Quinn is MY bird.

Check the next page for some videos of Harley.

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